For two weeks I sat in an old recliner we dug up from the basement. My pain from the surgery didn't seem to subside, which left me sitting, laying, and sleeping on that old recliner day and night. I'd get up to walk around and then have to sit back down soon after. I had back pain almost constantly. (Little did I know that this was probably the beginning of my back labor pains.) Yes, the back pain was probably the hardest pain to deal with. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand. It even hurt to lay down.
After the two weeks, all of the grandparent help left. I was faced with trying to figure out how to be a full-time parent in pain while Gene was at work. It was Saturday, September 6th, and I was drafting an email to send to some friends to try to recruit help for the coming week. I never did get that email sent. I took a nap that afternoon, getting some much needed rest. I woke up and stayed on the couch for awhile, talking to my mom on the phone. I was beginning to have some pains in my stomach, but at this point I was getting used to new pains showing up randomly. The pains didn't hurt much at first. But for the next several hours the pains grew worse. I kept running to the bathroom thinking that maybe that would make me feel better. Nothing seemed to help, though. I took a shower, and the hot water running down my back gave me some relief. I got dressed thinking that I was much better now.
The pains soon returned, even more fierce now. Gene told me to get another shower since that seemed to help the first time. I did, but the pains didn't subside this time. It was about 8pm now, and Gene had just gotten the kids in bed. I was laying on my bed in severe pain. The pains were coming about every minute. I could barely catch my breath in between. I even said to Gene, "If I was at the hospital, I'd ask for an epidural because these pains feel as bad as contractions!" Maybe it should have been obvious to me that these were contractions, but at 17 weeks pregnant, no mom thinks such things.
Gene was getting irritated at me now. To his credit, he had been serving me and the kids 24/7 the past two weeks and hadn't gotten any down time or real rest. Every time over the past two weeks that I started having pain it happened at night, after the kids went to bed...when it was harder to call someone to come watch them while we rushed to the ER. I'm sure thinking about losing another night's sleep was not amusing to him right then.
I looked at him and said, "We need to go to the ER. I can't go all night like this. The pains are so bad. Call someone to watch the kids...quickly!" He fumbled through his phone for a few minutes. I told him to call a neighbor, because I needed to go NOW. I mentioned a neighbor, and he said he didn't have their number. I told him to go outside and grab a neighbor....any neighbor! I needed to go to the ER. He got in contact with our good friends and told me Kyle would be here in 20 minutes. Twenty minutes!! I wanted to be in the hospital with an IV flowing with pain meds in 20 minutes!
He helped me pack a bag of stuff for the hospital. This was our 3rd ER trip in the past two weeks, so we were getting pretty good at packing for emergency hospital visits. He went downstairs to pack the van. I felt a small break between the pains and decided to make my way down the stairs to the van so we could leave as soon as our friend arrived. After one flight of stairs, my water broke. Even though I had already been through three labors, I had never felt my water break. It was unmistakeable, though.
I stood there drenched and screamed for Gene. He came running. I told him my water had just broken. I've never seen that man spring into action like he did right then. A husband's love for his hurting wife is a beautiful thing to witness.
I proceeded to clean myself up quickly and Gene shouted for me to get into the van. "We're leaving right now. Kyle is almost here. I told him your water broke and that we were leaving." I can't even explain it, but in that moment I felt an unexplainable peace. Peace. My water broke. I knew I'd be giving birth soon. And I knew my baby was dead. But there was peace. I don't know how God does it, but I know that He was reaching down and holding me right then. As His arms reached down to take my baby from inside my pregnant belly, He was also wrapping his arms around me, preparing me for what was coming next.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
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