20 September 2014

And...we became a family of 6

I didn't know it at the time.  I didn't know the extreme honor that I had just been given.  To me it was just a little piece of plastic that I stared at with trembling hands.  Gene and I had talked over the past three years about whether to have more children.  He said he was pretty much 99.9% sure he was happy with our family of five.  I was not so sure I was ready to be done having babies.  I still dreamed of a sister for Kinsley, or at least another baby (boy or girl) to hold and love.  I practiced the girl name over and over in my mind.  The name that we didn't use for Finn, since he was a boy.  I was still certain God was telling me that we'd one day have a Baby Girl ______ added to our family.  I could almost put a face to the name in my mind.

On June 14th, 2014 as I stared at the positive pregnancy test in my hands, I began crying over this unplanned news.  How would Gene respond? What in the world...how did this happen?  Am I ready to do this again?  Can I homeschool two kids, discipline a toddler, and care for an infant all at the same time?  Lord, this better be a girl!  Kins wants a sister.

The next day was Father's Day.  Perfect timing for sharing this news with Gene.  I couldn't hide my look of shock, though, from the one who knows me best.  I called him up to the bedroom and, with hands still shaking, I shoved the test into his face.  I think I muttered something like, "Happy Father's Day", as I shook and started crying.  His reply was just as I should have known it would be.  "Great!  I guess God answered our prayers as to whether or not to have a 4th child!" he said with a big grin.  

From that moment, we became a family of 6.  The life inside of me was real.  It was planned by God.  It was loved.  It was a little life that God had given me the extreme honor to be a mother to.  Even as a little peanut inside of me, I was still his mother.  Little did I know the journey that God began in my life that day.  

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