three-day potty training...tips and suggestions

We just finished potty training our 3rd child using the 3 Day Potty Training Method.  We used this method for all three of our kids, and it was a success for all of them.  They were all trained in 3 days.  I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions about using this method, because I have a lot of friends who have asked about it.  On the outset, though, I want to say that this method may not be for everyone, and it's definitely not the only method either.  It's just the method that worked for our family, so we stuck with it through 3 kids.  If you are thinking about this method, here are some of my thoughts for you to consider before diving in and getting your hands dirty (literally).  

1. Buy ($24) and read the 3-Day Potty Training booklet by Lora Jensen before you begin.  Whoever is going to be involved with the training (mom, dad, grandma, etc.) should read it so that you are all on the same page and using the same lingo that she suggests.

2. DON'T START UNTIL YOUR CHILD IS OLD ENOUGH.  I can't stress this enough.  I've heard numerous stories from moms who got frustrated and gave up because it did not work for their child, but they were too young.  Lora Jensen gives guidelines for when it's appropriate to start potty training and doesn't guarantee that this program will work for your child if they are not at least the age that she suggests (I forget but I think it's 22 months old).

3. Buy several packs of underwear (fun ones with characters that your child will be excited about) to have on hand.  During the three days you might go through several packs, depending on how quickly your child "gets it."  You want to have some on-hand for nighttime messes, too.  Speaking of nighttime, have extra sheets laid out so you can easily grab them if you find yourself changing wet underwear in the middle of the night.

 4. Find what motivates your child.  For my daughter, she went to the bathroom every few minutes just to squeeze out a drop to get another M&M and put a sticker on her chart.  We used sticker charts for my sons, too, but they weren't as interested in them.  We started with gummy bears for my 3rd child, but he didn't seem very motivated by them.  My husband picked up a pack of M&Ms on day 2, and we quickly found out that M&Ms were a bigger motivator.  It would be good to have several "rewards" on-hand in case plan A doesn't work and you need a plan B.  

 

5. If possible, you might want to borrow various potty seats until you find the one that works for your child.  Each child can be different, though.  I personally don't like the seats that go on top of the potty for boys because they sit up so high and the pee sprays up and out all over the wall.  No fun.  My daughter loved that seat, though, and since it didn't create messes for her, it worked.  We also found out that the separate potty seat (the ones that sit on the floor) were a nuisance for my 3rd child.  It was almost like he thought it was a game...and he would go from the little potty seat to the real potty, back and forth, and it drove me nuts!  He just wanted to keep trying out each seat, until we discovered that just sitting him on the regular potty, like an adult, worked just fine for him.  And it meant no messy potty chair to clean out.  

On another note, I have been taking the portable potty seat along with me in our van just in case we're out driving somewhere and can't get to a bathroom in time.  I probably won't do this for very long because it's easy to have boys pee along the side of the road behind a tree.  If you're training a girl, it might be helpful to have a seat. 

6.  If you're nursing (or have other small children in the house) you need to have someone else there to help you.  The reason is because you have to drop everything and run your child to the bathroom if he says he has to go.  If you're nursing, this could be hard (and frustrating for all involved).   On another note, if you have any other children in the house during your 3-day training, they could become quickly jealous of all the time you're spending on the child being trained (like 24/7).  If they are old enough, explain to them what you're going to be doing over the next few days, encourage them to praise your child when he has successes, and promise them a special one-on-one date after the 3 days are over.  My husband and I did that this last time.  Our older two were getting unruly because of all the attention we were showing their younger brother, so we took turns taking them out on a "date." 

7. If you're serious about doing this method, and your child is old enough, then give all of the remaining diapers that you have away to friends.  Don't keep any in the house!  You don't want to be tempted to slip one on in a moment of weakness.  DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT put a diaper on your child once you start (EVEN AT NIGHT).  This will confuse the child, because basically you're teaching them, "You may not pee in your pants during the day, but it's ok to pee in your pants at night."  I know many frustrated parents who are still using pull-ups or diapers at night because they opted to only do daytime training and not nighttime, too.  With this being said, there are some kids who just can't get the nighttime training thing down no matter how hard you try, and you'll want to talk to your pediatrician about it.  

With that being said, after we moved into our house (just a few months after potty training our 1st child) he began wetting the bed.  I knew that it was because of all the changes going on around him (new house, new bedroom, new bed----crib to toddler bed).  After a few nights of bed wetting, I bought one package of pull-ups.  He had never seen pull-ups before, so I told him that they were "special underwear."  I only put them on him at night, and I put them OVER his underwear.  Therefore he could still feel the wetness of peeing himself but it kept the mess contained.  I didn't use them for very long.  He started waking up dry soon after, but it was a temporary solution to help me not go insane while we were getting settled in our new home. 

8. Nighttime.  Here's our nighttime routine while potty training:

--stop all liquids 1 hour before bedtime (this may mean you have to alter your dinnertime to make sure you are done with dinner an hour before your child's bedtime)

--Go potty, brush teeth, read a book, go potty, bed.  

--One hour after bedtime, gently pick child up out of bed (keep lights off and try not to wake them very much) and place them on potty.  Whisper and tell them to try to go.  Sometimes they'll go right away and sometimes they'll say, "No potty."  Take them back to bed.

--One to two hours before they usually wake up repeat the above step, and put them back to bed.

--My husband even found himself awake in the middle of the night (1:00am) during the first few days of potty training and ended up taking our son to the bathroom to have him try, especially if our son didn't go when we took him an hour after putting him to bed.  This helped him wake up dry in the morning. 

This nighttime schedule worked well for my 2nd and 3rd child.  They both sit on the potty seat, practically dead asleep, fall forward into our arms, pee on the potty, and go right back to sleep.  With our first child this was a NIGHTMARE!  The first night we tried this, he refused to go back to sleep and stayed awake THE WHOLE REST OF THE NIGHT.  Awful, awful, awful.  So, we just learned that this didn't work for this child, and he ended up learning quickly how to ask to go potty from his bed.     

9. Prepare your heart.  This is probably the most important suggestion I can make to you.  Potty training is hard.  Period.  It's not usually a cake-walk.  Some kids do grasp it right away on day #1 and leave their parent's thinking that all kids are like this.  Not true.  From the majority of potty-training parents that I've talked to who have done the 3-Day method, it's hard, stressful and very tiring.  Potty training out first child was SOOOO stressful for my husband and me.  We had a newborn at the time, so one of us was in charge of the newborn while the other one ran our son back and forth to the bathroom and cleaned up messes all day.  Those three days rank near the top as three of the hardest days we have had in our marriage.  We just weren't prepared (in our hearts).  We thought we were prepared, but then the selfishness, anger and fatigue began to creep in...."If I have to clean up ONE MORE MESS TODAY..." or "I just want to sit down and check my email for 2 minutes!  Is that too much to ask?!"  

I suggest writing out verses and placing them in the bathroom to read while you're cleaning up another mess.  The verse that I kept reminding myself of this past weekend while we were training was (my own version of) James 1:20, "for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God a potty trained kid."  I kept repeating this verse to myself the one day when it took me an hour to get my kid down for a nap because every time I'd put him in his bed he'd start crying "Potty!  Potty!" and I'd have to rush him to the bathroom, only to sit there for a few minutes with nothing to show for it.  I got so angry because he was taking up my precious afternoon "me time" and selfishness took over my heart.  (It's ironic because as I'm typing this very paragraph I've had to stop and run my son to the bathroom about a dozen times because he kept crying, "Potty!  Potty!"  After a dozen trips or so, we finally had success!  You never know when the one trip to the bathroom will actually be "the one," so have patience.)  This is a new learning experience for them, so be patient with them.  For the first two years of their life they were "trained" to go to the bathroom in their diaper.  Now all of the sudden we're yelling at them if they pee in their pants!  They WILL get it eventually.  You don't see 21-year-olds wearing diapers, do ya?  See.  They'll get it.

UPDATES:
Just answering some questions that were sent my way as well as adding in some more tips I just remembered I wanted to share...
 1.  Disciplining
We never disciplined our children while training them to use the potty, even when they do the on again-off again-on again-off again "crying wolf" for an hour.  The only time I remember my husband and I beginning to discipline our children for this was when we noticed a pattern in our daughter of getting up out of bed numerous times right after we laid her down for the night because she wanted to squeeze out a drop in order to get another M&M...or to get attention (which she loves).  You just have to know your child.  Our daughter loves food and attention, so we obviously stopped the M&Ms soon after the 3-Day training and if she continued to get up out of bed just for attention and used the potty as an excuse, then we disciplined.

2. Showing signs
I forget if my first child did, but my daughter spoke very early and was asking to be potty trained at 18 months.  She hated wearing a diaper and wanted to use the potty like her older brother.  We didn't train her then but waited (for several reasons, one being that she wasn't 22 months yet) until she was 24 months and she grasped it within a day or two I believe.

With our 3rd child we read books to him about the potty beforehand and he was telling us that he "went poopy" in his diaper (even if it was just pee).  

Our kids were not waking up with dry diapers before we started the 3-day.  So, don't worry if your child wakes up soaking wet in a diaper.  Waking them after they go to bed in order to take them to the potty in the night (or morning) helps. 

3. When do you stop waking your child up in the middle of the night?
1st child---immediately (he hated it)
2nd child--woke her up when we went to bed for several weeks until we just tried not waking her up one night and realized that she would wake us up if she needed to go (and now goes to the bathroom herself in the middle of the night at 3 years old)
3rd child--we're on day #7 of no diapers and we're still waking him up 2-3 times in the night

4. Flushable wipes
These were helpful to invest in with my daughter (because you want to make sure to get girls clean "down there") but we didn't use them with my boys.

Leave me a comment if you have a question!