An ordinary American family goes to a tree farm in December, finds a little 5 or 6 foot tree, cuts it down, takes some pictures, makes some memories, takes it home, plops it into the tree stand and plays some Christmas carols in the background while the family decorates the tree. End of story.
BUT, our last name is "Huston." We don't do anything "normal." Here's our Christmas tree story...
NIGHT #1: Go to Home Depot. Find the biggest tree we can set eyes on. Wait in line 45 minutes in the cold for the nice man to level the bottom for us. Throw it on the top of the van. Drive a hungry, screaming 8 month old home with the tree. Husband unloads tree by himself (as you saw HERE). Wife feeds baby. Cut a few FEET off of the top of the tree.
NIGHT #2: String two sets of lights on tree. Not enough lights. String three sets of lights on tree.
NIGHT #3: Put baby to bed. Turn Christmas music on. Husband and wife have a nice evening hanging ornaments on tree. Tree is done. Ahhhh. Relax and enjoy.
NIGHT #4: Have friends over for dinner. Laugh at how enormous the tree is. Friends leave at 11:00pm. Husband sits down on couch (facing the tree) and wife sits down on floor (back to the tree) to talk for a minute before heading to bed. Husband yells, "BABE!" while lunging toward wife. Wife screams because she doesn't know why the husband is running to protect her. Is there an intruder with a gun behind her (wife always imagines the extreme)? Nope.
The 9 foot Christmas tree falls on wife. All the water in the base leaks out all over the floor. Pine needles go EVERYWHERE. Only a handful of ornaments fall off (no ornaments break...miraculous!). Wife starts shaking from the adrenaline that starting pumping through her body when her husband lunged to protect her. Husband starts setting up the tree again. Wife sits on floor shaking out of fear of what just happened. Wife starts laughing ('cause if you don't laugh you'll cry, right?!). Where does one even begin to clean up such a huge mess?! Ten minutes later husband remembers to ask, "Oh, yeah....by the way, are you ok, Wife, from the tree falling on you?" Other than a head full of sap, wife is fine.
Husband and wife spend an hour and a half cleaning up water, needles, and ornaments. Husband anchors the tree to the wall. (No joke!) Wife finally gets a shower at 1:00am to try to get the tree sap out of her hair. Husband and wife collapse in bed at 1:15am.
Maybe we'll enjoy relaxing in front of our tree tomorrow...
(These pictures were taken before "the fall.") They are horrible shots (we have really bad lighting in our living room), but we just wanted to give you a glimpse of the enormity of Big Bertha.
BUT, our last name is "Huston." We don't do anything "normal." Here's our Christmas tree story...
NIGHT #1: Go to Home Depot. Find the biggest tree we can set eyes on. Wait in line 45 minutes in the cold for the nice man to level the bottom for us. Throw it on the top of the van. Drive a hungry, screaming 8 month old home with the tree. Husband unloads tree by himself (as you saw HERE). Wife feeds baby. Cut a few FEET off of the top of the tree.
NIGHT #2: String two sets of lights on tree. Not enough lights. String three sets of lights on tree.
NIGHT #3: Put baby to bed. Turn Christmas music on. Husband and wife have a nice evening hanging ornaments on tree. Tree is done. Ahhhh. Relax and enjoy.
NIGHT #4: Have friends over for dinner. Laugh at how enormous the tree is. Friends leave at 11:00pm. Husband sits down on couch (facing the tree) and wife sits down on floor (back to the tree) to talk for a minute before heading to bed. Husband yells, "BABE!" while lunging toward wife. Wife screams because she doesn't know why the husband is running to protect her. Is there an intruder with a gun behind her (wife always imagines the extreme)? Nope.
The 9 foot Christmas tree falls on wife. All the water in the base leaks out all over the floor. Pine needles go EVERYWHERE. Only a handful of ornaments fall off (no ornaments break...miraculous!). Wife starts shaking from the adrenaline that starting pumping through her body when her husband lunged to protect her. Husband starts setting up the tree again. Wife sits on floor shaking out of fear of what just happened. Wife starts laughing ('cause if you don't laugh you'll cry, right?!). Where does one even begin to clean up such a huge mess?! Ten minutes later husband remembers to ask, "Oh, yeah....by the way, are you ok, Wife, from the tree falling on you?" Other than a head full of sap, wife is fine.
Husband and wife spend an hour and a half cleaning up water, needles, and ornaments. Husband anchors the tree to the wall. (No joke!) Wife finally gets a shower at 1:00am to try to get the tree sap out of her hair. Husband and wife collapse in bed at 1:15am.
Maybe we'll enjoy relaxing in front of our tree tomorrow...
(These pictures were taken before "the fall.") They are horrible shots (we have really bad lighting in our living room), but we just wanted to give you a glimpse of the enormity of Big Bertha.
5 comments:
oh my! and I thought our little barely 6 footer falling over was an adventure. aren't little adventures like that the things that make marriage so fun? :-P
Good job, Gene! You modeled both savior/warrior (saved wife) AND husbandman (struck fear into tree) all in on fell swoop!
You might be light on the "sage" portion though ;)
Happy with my fake 5' tree,
Tom
Oh Renee! That's so funny....check out our blog. It must be a clone baby thing!
Wow...that's quite a story! I keep my fingers crossed each year that our tree won't fall over.
wow! I thought ours was big :)
It looks great, though, with all the pretty lights and ornaments on, but def. large!
Good memory though, right?
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